THE THOUGHT OF A GAY MAN

This is a conversation I have had with many of my peers. It is also something I bring up with the younger generation. What does it feel like being gay? More times than often I get that it feels great. That it’s different.  I have yet to have anyone who is gay not tell me that it is hard. Somewhere along the line in their life it will get tough. We go through many things that straight people do. It’s not any different. We go through identity crisis, trying to fit in, finding friends and finding love. Though everyone thinks – ok he is gay what is there to identify? He knows who he is.

On the contrary it goes deeper than that. Once we identify being gay hopefully at a young age because if it doesn’t then you have to wait till you accept yourself. You will have to fight through all the negative outlooks that society has attached to it like shame, embarrassment, guilt and sin. Once you understand that you are not all those things, that the way you love or better said the one you love is all the same as if it was a heterosexual relationship then you have to work out which gay are you. Are you the real feminine kind of guy, are you the real masculine guy. Are you the type that wants to wear it on your sleeve or are you ok being quiet about it? Are you the one that cares not to place a title on it and just go through life with when it happens it happens? All this makes you and where you are going to go.

I do know some things that don’t change regardless which gay you are. In this life as a gay man you will have to always work twice as hard to be considered just as good. No matter how accepting this world is at the end of the day people will always hold that “gay” upfront. They will always consider us a bit weak. As if when we admitted we were gay we cut our penis off and left in on the shelf. Not understanding that not every gay man wishes to be a woman and not every gay woman wishes to be a man. Society will look like we will come up short. No matter how successful we are partying and drugs and overtly sexual energy is synonymous with us. I personally don’t have a problem but if your going to be the type of gay person that will hold nothing from plain sight and you are very feminine prepare yourself. The world doesn’t have to accept us. Just as we don’t accept everyone. The world doesn’t have to embrace us. I mean let’s keep it real it’s written in history that what we don’t understand we either kill, maim or hurt it. We don’t try to understand it by just sitting down and asking questions or god forbid if they ever take the time to study it as well.

For those who are secure in their gayness or homosexuality to be politically correct it’s a lonely place. When I say comfortable I say that you accept yourself. Accepting yourself that nothing moves you from who you are to yourself. That your choice with who you are allows you to be happy regardless of what is served as you go throughout your day. Trust me you will meet fake people, you will become a commodity s a friendship, you will be questioned by insecure individuals that will accuse you of affairs and crushes. You have to be safe with yourself that you can walk away and it doesn’t question your morals and values about who you are.

We learn that being gay is just a small part of who we are. It’s what we like in bed. At the end of the day we are human, we are men and woman who have to work as everyone else, pay taxes like everyone else and we have to live like everyone else.

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