Growing up I was never a teachers pet. In grade school I knew many of my teachers didn’t like me. I was the pesky lil kid, the uncontrollable one.The less they dealt with me the better their day went. I wasn’t the kid that was picked when he raised his hand either. I was way too energetic for them. I had ants in my pants. If there were special projects I wasn’t included. If there were class trips the teachers would try to hand me over to another teacher for that day just so they wouldn’t have to deal with me. It would be years later after the fact that I would be diagnosed as A.D.D. Before that I was just a troublesome kid that most teachers didn’t want to deal with. They didn’t know that at home I was being sexually abused by the neighbors and babysitters sons. They didn’t know that I was being physically abused by some extremely vicious ass whippings handed by my mom. They didn’t know I was a bed wetter either.
When I reached JHS I discovered what I had. Besides being very opinionated I also had talent. An insatiable appetite for singing and dancing. I was also 100% certified gay. I was as outspoken and louder than ever with it. I had no problems dancing all over the place. My fashion was girly skippies, socks with Pom Poms and over the shoulder sweatshirts with homemade cut outs! It was in an elective class that I discovered I could sing. Once that discovery was evident I ate up everything with a dance and a song. We were poor so mommy couldn’t afford dance classes. TV became my teacher- Solid Gold, American Bandstand, Sound Of Music, Wizard Of Oz those became my teachers. For hours I’d sing those songs and dance by myself at home. I would be playing it back from my TDK cassette tape player. When those didn’t satisfy me I had the streets. It was those block parties and house parties where for hours I would just learn all the latest dances from the older teenagers. There was the occasional church dances that I would go with my cousins. We had so much fun. All we did was dance and dance.
This was the one thing that came natural to me. To move my feet in unison to the beat was something I didn’t have to work hard in. It was second nature to me. It wasn’t till my heavy club days that my cousin Taina pointed out that when I danced I had my eyes closed. I always thought they were open.
Now when talking about my club days with my dancing soulmate Liatt was the best and most influential in my life. We danced till the club closed. I didn’t know that those years I expressed a whole lot more through dance than I did with speech. It was those times that I truly believe dancing saved my life. I would just close my eyes and dance. I’d let it all go. I’d be battling and just smile the whole time. Nothing hurt me when I danced or sang. If I happen to do both it was even more amazing for me. I always woke up the next day stress free.


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