THE BLUES INTO HAPPY

 

You hear it all the time, I can’t do this, I can’t do that, you shouldn’t try this, its not really for you. Like who the hell makes up all this bullshit. Listen being of age it is very clear that many people can only speak as far as they have gone. To dream was an expense they really didn’t indulge in. I get it. Different times call for different measures. But I always have known that what a kid dreams of and wants to become should be nurtured. As wild as it may seem, just as long as it doesn’t put them in danger then all is fine.

I wasn’t allowed to really dream and I say this because mommy’s life was never full of candy and spice and everything nice. She was forced to face some real harsh realities. She learned at a very young age that you depend on no one. That if there is anything you want get it yourself. So with that it was forced fed to me. There was no great expectations. Life to her was very basic. You go to school, you graduate, you work and pay bills. That was it. You don’t invest in things that are too far-fetched. You trust in what you can do. There was no talk of the starts or the fame or the way to get there. As a matter of act you just get it when you can and move forward.

You can just imagine how crazy I must’ve looked like when I showed interest in the arts. When I sat and told mommy that I wanted to sing and act.  I told her I couldn’t see my life so ordinary because I was meant for a bigger ting. She looked at me, pursed her lips and sent me back to the sewing machine to work.

It deterred me but didn’t kill me. It definitely taught me that if this was something I wanted to do it will happen. I put in the work some years I was gung ho some days I wasn’t but I never let up. I didn’t stop dreaming. Desire in what craft changed but it was craft no less.

I laugh thinking back all the times my friends and I hung out stoned out dancing in clubs and them telling me I will be a writer one day, that I’ll be in the entertainment business.

Is it always scary, yes. But trust and believe that the minute the opportunity comes along I rise to the occasion. I am not intimidated. I care less the others experience. All that matters to me is that when the light is on me I give it my best with all that I have. I always say I’d rather not get the part because I hit it 100 then to not give it my all and beat myself up after. No beatings here. I have had my fair share growing up. Don’t need anymore. It’s to try it with all I have. This journey is fantastic. Absolutely receive the unexpected and I always bounce back. It takes me back to my youth and makes it more of a realization that I have been set up for this since young. The rehearsals in schoolyards cause I couldn’t afford studio time. There was no extra money at all. The times my friends would show me songs knowing that I would learn them because again there was no money for voice lessons. The many times hanging with my friends and going into character skits on a whim. I never knew it would help me transform becoming these characters I play on stage. Studying people and how they act, where they are from gave me an inner sight on them tht hekps me tremendously when playing roles. Then of course being broke, broken and hurt helped me gain a level of constant happy that has given me a comedic timing that money can never buy. I have heard it say that being funny is a natural ability you can’t learn to be funny either you are or not. Drama can be taught but to be funny no, you gots to have it from the gate.

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