#21 WHERE DO I FIND ME 

I never found myself on TV. There was nothing that I can identify with. We are speaking of the 8o’s here. All they had were those pretty families that in 30 minutes all tragic problems were resolved. The Mom kept the house clean and she always found time to have it all under control and the dad worked making enough money to have a house, the kids clothed, food on the table and never a serious worry. Both parents worked together to give advice and make sure the family was unscathed from anything. Punishment was handed out instead of beatings. There was even a weekly allowance from doing chores. Like who heard of such a thing.
This definitely wasn’t my home. Single mom that worked super long hours. She had it far from under control. Absent dad that left while the going was good, while youth was still on his side. You cleaned house because it’s what you did because mom couldn’t do it all alone. God forbid if she came home from work and things weren’t in order because Mom didn’t spare the rod. Lord knows I received my fair share of beatings. Sometimes mom, a single parent didn’t have the answers. There were times that she didn’t want to hear a thing let alone more problems. Even when my step-father joined the family they both didn’t have the answers. It was a home with lots of alcohol, a gay kid, a straight jock and a dog. Both my parents had 2 totally different upbringings in which I must say didn’t benefit me much. Silence was a tool served often. There is a saying- aprende de mi silencio. That usually meant that whatever topic was on the table was not up for talk, debate or questioning. It got to a point when my attitude was- Why bother asking it’s not gonna make a difference”.

I sit in bed watching these family sitcoms it becomes even farther from the truth than ever. I don’t know if it’s a way of just kind of reprogramming society as a whole.

 I truly think that this is why reality T.V is so popular and in high demand. It’s the mire normal living than these sitcoms. 

With that being said I didn’t find myself in those sitcoms or the silver screen and when I did he was not very good looking. He was usually dressed in the worse drag and brought in as the comedy relief. I was lead to believe that gay people were supposed to be funny at all times or that pretty/attractive wasn’t a requirement. That when you appeared you was the butt of jokes. It wasn’t a cool feeling. This is why I tell my story because straight or not WE all go through similar situations. No one is exempt from difficult times or life changing events. It has nothing to do with sexuality or preference. That there is a dysfunction in it all not to mention that gay is not always funny. My days are far from comedy and just for the record I’m far from a sitcom.,

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s