My life becomes a memory through music. It was something that was around at all times. It dictated how we dealt as a people. It let me know what mood the house was in so that I knew how to deal. It was music that was played allowing my family and friend to cope with tragedy by either soaking in it till it was left in the lyrics and tears or helped to cope till it became fond memories until we were laughing.
In doing my writing music has not only become integral it has become essential. I sit with pen and paper (yes old school) and just let the radio play. I prefer my 90’s and freestyle. Once the songs start it is a ride. What’s funny is that the memories are optional. Not a guarantee that it will all be shits and giggles.
Freestyle brings me to the pinnacle of my youth before tainted by heavy drugs. I start to remember those crushes on the guys, some I let know and some not at all. Oh lord I was such a romantic fool. To believe that I thought that the way the movies depicted it was correct. Lol yeah I’ll wait for that! Freestyle reminds me of the clubs in NYC like 1018, Devil’s Nest, The Underground, Red Zone and Palladium. All clubs are now non existent but those places were home for a few years. Dancing the night away and battling till there was no more sweat to give. Remembering every nuance and beat change to these records that would sometimes be 5-9 minutes long. While dancing letting go of the hurt, the ostracizing, the constant need to be strong when I wanted to break. Reminds me of times where my friends were my family. We were inseparable. I truly believe I was so saved by these friends who by the way are still in my life. We bonded over tough times. Each of us lost within our own life but still tied with each other. Music is the string that sewed our spirits together.
There was house music this is what people now call dance music. It was this music that pounded the drums where the songs spoke of the times we were living in. It was in those lyrics that I was able to feel my soul. Hours would pass and my feet were in constant rhythm. We kept dancing till we got lost to places where there were no color lines, there was us, the music and that hard wood floor. We turned, jumped, shook, screamed into battles. Music is my soundtrack. I wouldn’t know where to be without it.
The heartbreaks I went through and only Mary J Blige could explain. There was overjoyed laughing when Missy Elliott took over. When I needed to feel close to spirit the amazing songbirds Teena Marie, Aretha Franklin, Barabara Streisand, Diana Ross placed me in my feelings so I could grow. I can’t imagine life without music.
Freestyle was my crush and love heydays. Noel, The Cover Girls, Corina, Sa-Fire all spoke of summer love and unrequited love. It rejoiced in high school crushes and long friendships with benefits. It brings wonderful memories of Brooklyn and the unity before gentrification. It was freestyle that started my beginning to my entertaining career. It is now in writing my 2nd book that I use music as the soundtrack to my life.